The nights were worse. Nothing can compare to having to nurture your heart to sleep. To having to shove it back when it wants to lie on your sleeve, or better yet, having to hear his name being rolled of tongues when you’re supposed to be in your fifth dream.
No sound but the wind. But life moves on oh so kindly.
My back was falling softly into the covers of my bed. My feet and head ached from today’s run. The evasive calamity of the memories slapped across my brain, and I couldn’t help fall into them.
So little to say but so much time; the simple questions walking while the demons are held back. The prying eyes of the latter seem so squinted yet defined, they keep begging me for a call, a message, any sign that he’s alive. I rolled over on my belly and felt the warm notion of my eyes wetting my cheeks. “Thanks.” I breathed to the dark.
It’s a lie. The memory hissed back at me and I fear the force it causes on my chest. Again, another day, another second of an hour that my arms are empty!
No sound but the wind?
Nathan, why? Nathan, you know better than the world just how much I cared. You knew, yet you felt obligated to lie.
Lie to me again, please. I’ll take anything. Why? Your warm breath through my skin as it searches to delete my stress, your soft lips joining with the curve of my neck, the luscious murmur of your voice speaking to me, Nathan, I have never, ever felt this before…
Breathe.
He lied. You bought it. I was blind. You hurt us. If you had been wiser, you would be happy today.
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