Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Had you...

In the mixture of books and the like, I have forgotten why I started. Was there ever a point to Parachutes and Vying? Somewhere in me I am aware that they were created so that I could explain, in the voice of other characters in my head, what I could so often not tell myself. When I started developing each of them, they all had singular truths and grudges to throw at me. All because I could not understand on my own, I had to create a separate portal to vocalize. 

I knew from the get go that starting something implied the truth rolling.

In different situations and different words; but inside all the same, brothers and sisters. It isn't terrifying anymore, the truth is something I can live with. I had always figured it would be more vast and complex, but it is mine, so I can grasp every curve and comprehend the reasons behind each. 

You are confused, aren't you? 

It's okay, I've always said that if I could divorce myself I would, but thankfully, the procedure is nonexistent. Because really... why run away from ourselves? The relationship I share with my soul is more important than anything, I can't extradite it, I can't condemn it. How can I hope to love someone else if I fail to start with Maryuri? I am in a healthier place with myself than I have been in years. 

Yet now that I think I am beginning to grow equipped to understanding another's needs as much as I understand my own, he has chosen to firmly turn away from me in cowardice. Thus, the well intoxicating love made sure that I would have to try again to get it right. I am stubborn, and this means that I don't care how much you tell me I can't, I simply do.

And in turn will.

But you should know that in anger, I always poise my thoughts in a positive note. 

However, no truth is taken away from them.